How To Process Negative Emotions Based On Your Enneagram
We are loving the growing enneagram trend. The enneagram is an amazing guide that can help you discern your personality, fears, wounds, areas of growth, and areas of stress through a spectrum of nine spheres. Depending on which number you are, you will respond to stress, negativity, and challenges in different ways.
Accordingly, based on your number, there are healthy ways to respond to negative emotions and unhealthy ways to react. Processing your emotions can be difficult, so we wanted to give you healthy ways to process your emotion based on your enneagram number.
One-- You tend to set a really high standard for yourself, and, when you feel like you are failing, it is really hard not to overanalyze & be critical of yourself. This can make you moody and irrational and spiral downward. Solution: lighten up. Yeah, we know, easier said than done. Do something that makes you feel fun & like a kid again; and, while you’re doing it, be patient & kind to yourself. You tend to have difficulty processing negative emotions because you want to be perfect. Be okay with messy, human feeling and embrace it.
Two-- Oftentimes, the reason you are feeling negative emotions is because you are overextending yourself for others. You may feel upset because you’re giving 110% and _______ is giving 50%. Whatever the reason for your stress/anxiety, avoid expecting someone close to you to make up for it. Instead, recognize that you probably are not giving enough of yourself to you. Set aside time to build into yourself. Make sure you are getting enough sleep, eating a balanced diet, and exercising. Know that taking care of yourself first is going to help you take care of someone else's needs.
Three-- You tend to be very high strung, motivated, efficient, and you get shit done. When you feel like you’re failing, or things aren’t going very well for you, you tend to isolate yourself from people closest to you. You can’t stand the fact that you’ve “failed” and the thought of other people seeing you the same way is somehow worse than the failure. Take the time to connect with others and be truthful. Maybe spend some time journaling your authentic emotion, thoughts, and feelings on paper, but, more importantly, have an open & honest conversation with another person.
Four-- Find someone to have a nice, long conversation with and get moving. Your inclination will be to fall into self-pity, remorse, or envy. You may think things like, “If she’s getting _______ why can’t I?” or, “If only _________ could happen, I would be a lot happier.” This is your unhealthy and negative tendency to desire what you don’t have. You typically do a lot better vocalizing your emotions with a close & trusted friend because you tend to get lost in your thoughts & emotions. When you’re talking something through, you’re able to focus on one thought at a time. Additionally, you’re most healthy when you’re exercising consistently. So after a long & hard day, find a friend and get moving.
Five-- When you are feeling stress or negative emotion, you tend to get hyperactive and indecisive. You may feel that your ideas or knowledge is too conventional and feel like you need to withdraw in your own mind again. You tend to get fixated on something and avoid the more practical & everyday of life. Your challenge is to pursue things that spark your imagination and maintain healthy relationships, take care of yourself, and live a healthy life. Let your mind take a break and exercise your body. This could be jogging, meditation, yoga, or the like.
Six-- You tend to get edgy & testy when you are experiencing negative emotions, and may even turn on others and blame people for things you brought on yourself. You also struggle with self-doubt and anxiety, so it can be really easy for you to spiral downward when you constantly feel unsure of your decisions. When things go downhill, you often build safety nets for yourself; but, neglect your own inner emotions. In order to get into a healthy state of mind, take the time to relax, breathe, and be in the present. While you can’t always control your external environment, you can control what you think and how you respond.
Seven-- You have an infectious personality and are a lot of fun to be around. But, you tend to overcommit and try to do everything at once. You tend to cope with anxiety in two ways: either by constantly being on the go (and not giving your mind a rest), or by trying every single solution you can think of to alleviate your anxiety. Since you are always seeking new experiences and have difficulty slowing down, it can take a toll on your health and relationships. Learn to slow down and choose quality over quantity. Write a list of the top 5 or 10 things you’d like to pursue and stick to it.
Eight-- You hate to be controlled or to allow anyone to have power over you. You are extremely self-reliant and you pride yourself on it; but, sometimes it can come at the cost of relationships. Your defense when you are hurt is to reject others first and therefore distance yourself further. Recognize that sometimes true power is relying on other people. You can’t go through life alone. Sacrifice your own desires and share how you’re feeling with someone close to you.
Nine-- Your natural aptitude is to avoid conflict and get lazy. While this is okay for some to decompress and remove yourself from a situation, for you, it is a way to avoid the situation you are in. Try not to get in lazy mode & take naps, watch tv, or generally waste time. The best thing for you to do is face whatever is that is bothering you head on.
What number on the enneagram are you? What are negative and positive ways that you deal with your emotion? Let us know in the comments below!